1) We sing erratically when we reach that moment of helplessness and insanity in our work
2) Procrastination becomes an art-whether it’s looking at the formation of the clouds or a bug on the wall, it suddenly becomes more interesting than whatever you were studying.
3) Food is the key to all boredom and irritation.
4) We become obsessed with the things we did not really notice beforehand; ‘Is my hair ok today?’ ‘Is the cat all right?’
5) We divert our attention by consoling ourselves with our friends and end up in a deeper pit of procrastination as we team up to fight the odds. (or just go out/mope)
6) Whatever the season, Christmas carols, ice-cream and the odd sweet here and there mean the world to us.
7) Caution: Approach at a distance if we sound like a dying whale at deleting an important document.
8) For those of you that think you will have a life at University:
9) When someone offers to take you for a ride/ have a break, you treat them like God’s gift to mankind.
10) When a family member attempts to downplay your course/work you glare at them with rabid teeth and hop through the mess in your room to diplomatically shut the door.
11) There is no such thing as normal. We all panic and frantically check and re-check exam dates and deadlines and think they are going to magically change to screw us over.
12) The sardonic smiles from teachers and adults surrounding you make you daydream about a Utopia where the educational system is deemed incompetent and inept.
13) No matter how many times you proof read your assignment, you will always feel like you are giving away your unborn child to a totalitarian state when the time is due.
14) English students quote Shakespeare in our conversations and are only appreciated by the other socially deprived study companions.
15) We feel we fully deserve a cookie after all our work. (Who doesn’t like a cookie?)
16) Sarcasm and witty humour amongst the trail of YouTube videos and film repeats become part of our routine.
17) Our favourite song becomes the doomed anthem to hell as it will forever remind us of studying.
18) Post-exam period is visualised as a paradise filled with no worry and food. In reality it’s work, sweat and heat.
19) Student budgets mean cutting costs- We flock to free stuff and gigs. (Please do not judge us in study mode.)
21) We cry out existential questions- and debate the pros and cons about being a student.
20) Our virtual world becomes the representation of what’s ‘out there’ (shudders)
22) Alcohol is the equivalent to fairy dust. It’s one of the only things that can temporarily take away our worries.
23) At any sign of illness, we frantically look up our symptoms online and break out in cold sweats.
24) We automatically envy and hate anyone who is enjoying the sunny, beautiful day outside while we are rotting on our desk and simmering in our mental stews.
25) You won’t admit it, but after 17 years of studying, the real world seems almost scary. For most of us we just want to start working.
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